The Fear of Monkeys - The Best E-Zine on the Web for Politically Conscious WritingCelebes Crested Macaque - Issue Forty-One
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The Lar Gibbon  from Christiano Artuso The Celebes Crested Macaque is an Old World monkey that lives in the Tangkoko reserve (home of the biggest crested macaque population remaining in the species' original distribution range) in the north-eastern tip of the Indonesian island of Sulawesi as well as on smaller neighbouring islands. The Celebes crested macaque is a diurnal rain forest dweller. This macaque is primarily terrestrial, spending most of its day on the ground foraging for food and socializing, while sleeping and searching for food in the trees. They are frugivorous, with most of their diet fruit, although they also eat leaves, buds, seeds, fungus, small birds and bird eggs, insects (such as beetles and caterpillars) worms, snails and the occasional small lizard or frog. Locally known as yaki or wolai, its skin and hairless face is, with the exception of some white hair in the shoulder range, entirely jet black. Unusual for a primate, it has striking reddish-brown eyes. The long muzzle with high cheeks and the long hair tuft, or crest, at the top of the head are remarkable features. It has an "apelike" appearance due to its almost non-existent, non-visible, vestigial tail stub of only approximately 2 cm. With a total body length of 44 cm to 60 cm and a weight of 3.6 kg to 10.4 kg, it is one of the smaller macaque species. Its life expectancy is estimated at approximately 15-20 years in the wild. They typically live in groups of five to twenty-five animals, and occasionally in groups of up to seventy-five animals. Smaller groups have only a single adult male, while larger groups have up to four adult males. However, adult females always outnumber adult males by about 4:1. Young adult males are forced to leave their birth group upon maturity, sometimes forming bachelor groups before seeking a connection to an existing adult mixed-sex group. Communication consists of various sounds and gestures; such as the presentation of the long canine teeth while grimacing, a clearly threatening gesture. They are promiscuous, with both males and females mating multiple times with multiple partners. The receptivity of the females is clearly indicated by an extreme tumescence (swelling) and redness of their buttocks which, in contrast to the black skin color, is particularly noticeable. The gestation time is 174 days, and the birth of the usually single offspring happens in the spring when food is more plentiful. Young animals are nursed for approximately one year, becoming fully mature in three to four years, females somewhat sooner than males. Because they live from crops and fields, they are hunted as a pest. They are also hunted for the bushmeat trade. Clearing the rain forests further threatens their survival. Their situation on the small neighbouring islands of Sulawesi (such as Bacan) is somewhat better, since these have a low human population. The total population of the macaque on Sulawesi is estimated at 4,000-6,000, while a booming population of up to 100,000 monkeys is found on Bacan.


The Climate Is Changing. The Climate Is Changing.


B. Craig Grafton


"Great job, Fox."

"Thank you, Ms. Bane." Mr. Fox felt like a little kid answering so politely. Nevertheless he knew his place. She was his boss so he gave her the respect, r-e-s-p-e-c-t, that all these 'business' women craved even though he believed that she didn't deserve it. He comforted himself in the fact that he was crafty enough to go along, to know how to answer, to know how to play the game and not just play the game but do quite well at it thank you.

"This international conference on climate change has been quite a boon for business hasn't it Fox?"

"Yes, Ms. Bane," Again with the overdone Eddie Haskell politeness.

"Enviro Men Ltd. made quite a lot of sales thanks to you and your sales team. I see that you got a few government contracts for some major projects." "Yes, Ms. Bane." Fox knew that the home office loved these contracts with foreign governments. They never quibbled over price like private corporations did. They were a gold mine. "I should have a couple more after the conference ends tomorrow and I'm sure that we'll get a few more after these diplomats go home and get their government's approval."

"Good. Keep up the good work, Fox. See you back at the office on Monday. Bye."

"See you then, Ms. Bane. Bye."

Fox hung up the phone. He hated that woman. She had that job for only one reason as far as he was concerned, because of her looks. Anatomy is destiny they say. To him she wasn't particularly intelligent or had any business savvy even if she had a college degree. The company needed a woman, and even better if they got a good looking woman like her, in a high-ranking visible executive position to enhance its corporate image. All big businesses for that matter thought that they had to hire women for their corporate image. The news media, television, the press, the blogs etc. etc. all pushed the women's movement--no they demanded it, and no one dared offend them for fear of financial suicide.

Nevertheless Fox played along and he too hired women to his sales staff. In fact his best salesman, or salesperson as they are now politically correctly called, was a young woman, by the name of Penelope Strong. She was making the company, and therefore him too, a ton of money. After all that's the way it should be thought Fox. Making money should be the only standard in business, not one's gender.

It was time to call Penelope now, stroke her ego, pay her a few compliments, congratulate her on a job well done. Fox picked up the phone and dialed her hotel room number. He could have just gone out the door and down the hall but that wouldn't be the smart thing to do. Never go into a hotel room of a single woman. Somebody would be sure to see you coming or going and no telling how that would spin out of control. And maybe Penelope would misinterpret something that he said in the privacy of her room and view it as sexual harassment or some other politically incorrect crime. With him having a wife and two young children still at home it was best never to be alone with any single woman anywhere, anytime. Even when he talked to women at the office he always made sure he had a loyal employee present so that he had backup if accused of something.

Penelope Strong had been hired for all the right reasons which were: she had graduated with honors from a big name university, had an MBA, a requirement now for anybody, and was a woman. In fact he hired her over a young man with the same qualifications simply because she was a woman and that turned out to be one of the best business decisions that he ever made. Heck he would have even hired a bisexual transsexual if that was a good business move.

"Hello, Penelope. I just wanted to congratulate you on a job, or should I say jobs well done."

"Thank you, Mr. Fox."

"I been going over everyone's sales sheets and you made the most sales of anyone."

There was no doubt about it. This woman was a good salesperson. She could sell the proverbial Eskimos the proverbial ice boxes and then sell them Eskimo pies to put in them. She was a born salesperson. No college degree could teach her that. She just had it. Knew instinctively what to say and when and where to say it. Her demeanor was professional. Her enthusiasm oozed from every pore of her body. Customers picked up on all that as well as the fact that she came across as honest, straight forward, and sincere. She didn't come across as a phony or pushy. People wanted to do business with her.

Furthermore, and this was the best part as far as Fox was concerned, she was convinced that by working for Enviro Men Ltd. that she was actually saving the planet. She knew everything about the company's products and services inside out. She always did her homework, was hardworking and honest, and her enthusiasm was going to take Fox to the next level, Ms. Bane's job, when she retired in a few years. Penelope would then take over his job. He'd make sure of that. Reward your own.

"I see that you got a commitment for us to save the rainforests in Brazil. That was a tough sell I bet."

"Thank you, but it wasn't that hard really. The lady from Brazil was quite nice and really concerned about saving her country's ecosystem. We really hit it off."

Women do best when dealing with other women, Fox thought. A man would have had a hard time pulling that one off.

"What about those contracts to retard the expansion of the Sahara Desert. How's that coming along?"

"It involves a couple of countries as you know but it's coming along just fine. Probably within a month or so things should come together and we should have a deal with everyone involved. If you want I can stop what I'm doing and come down and talk to you about it," "No. No. No. That's not necessary. I'll talk to you on the plane about it."

"Okay. Anyway I've still got to make a few more calls to make before I call it a day."

"Okay you do that. Bye."


Nine o'clock at night and that woman's still working. He had to hand it to her, she was a hard worker alright.

This international conference on climate change has been a great for business and a gold mine for him personally. Every company that sold anything remotely connected to climate change, global warming, or the environment had gathered here like a bunch of camp followers hanging on the edges, looking to get rich selling 'snake oil cures' that saved the planet. It seemed as if every country in the whole world had gone whole hog and bought into climate change.

Everyone except for the good ole U.S. of A. that is. The American public hadn't bit into it enough as far as Fox was concerned. He had to come up with a plan to get the America on board.

After he hung up he went back to reading the paper. Being a man the first section he turned to was the sports section. He looked at the headline, "NFL May Be Affected By Climate Change." The article went on to report that government scientists say climate change may affect NFL play by blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. This was great. After all, our government wouldn't lie to us now would they? This highly respected paper, wouldn't report something that wasn't true now would it? Unbelievable thought Fox but very profitable. Never underestimate the stupidity of the American public. He had his plan.

This article is the key to getting America on board the runaway climate change train, thought Fox. The American people loved their NFL. They have to have their football fix. Thus they would demand that the NFL do something about climate change and do it now.

And Penelope Strong would be just the person to see that they did. The NFL loved women. They had them as sideline reporters now. And didn't the NFL players wear pink ribbons and pink uniforms all the time to show their solidarity in the fight against breast cancer. The NFL had gone over to the women's side in the war against women. The NFL was fighting for and with women, and that's why Penelope was perfect for this job. It wouldn't take that much for her to get the NFL's endorsement to fight climate change on television every Sunday. Why, he could see it now. The news media would be all abuzz with headlines like, "NFL Tackles Climate Change," and "The NFL's Climate Change Plan, a game changer."

Fox would talk to her on the plane about this tomorrow and get her hyped up about it. Have her draw up her 'game plan.' He knew that she would look forward to the challenge, knew that she would thoroughly research this government study, and that she would therefore impress the NFL bigwigs with her knowledge and enthusiasm. In NFL terms she'd go out there and do what she had to do, taking it one sale at a time. Have her game face on. She had never failed him before and he knew she wouldn't do so now.

Yes, thought Fox, as long as Penny Henny here keeps running around hollering, "The climate is changing. The climate is changing," we're going to make a killing.

Foxy Loxy was loving it.

B. Craig Grafton is a retired attorney whose stories have appeared in this magazine before. He may be reached at
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